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JEFF AND MARY

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IT'S A PRIVILEGE TO LIVE HERE!

It's a privilege to live in the Ozarks! That's our motto. It means that the Ozarks are a special place, and Ozarkers are special people. Sometimes, newcomers don't understand this, so they have all kinds of problems.

They assume that just because they are American citizens, they have a right to live here. If we allow just anybody to live here, this wouldn't be a special place anymore. So we have to judge each newcomer to see if he meets our standards.

Of course, he must respect the Cross, the Confederate flag, the Republican party, the Masons, and the National Rifle Association. He must also respect the privileges and privacy of Ozarkers who manufacture methamphetamine and belong to secret hate groups. He must never contact the state or federal government to report violations or ask for help. And he must never even mention civil rights.

In short, he must renounce his independence, self-respect, and citizenship in order to fit in here. He must understand that when we talk about family values, we're talking about our families, not his. He must also understand that this is God's country, and we are His chosen people. Amen.


jeffandmary (at) ozarkopathy (dot) org