FACTS
DEATH THREAT
CRONY ISLAND
GENUINE OZARK QUOTES
MISERY IN METH-OURI
OZARK HORROR STORIES
(OZARKUS HORRIBILIS)
MAP OF THE OZARKS
NEWS
LINKS
HOME
SEARCH ENGINE
CONTACT
JEFF AND MARY
AFFIDAVIT AND GOLIATH
GOLIATH CHART
DISCLAIMER
AUDIO CLIPS
DEATH THREAT
DEPUTY CURSING
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER
POETRY
GOOD OL' BOYS OF THE OZARKS
(GOBOS)
GET YOUR COUNTY
OUT OF MY COUNTRY!
OZARK OXYMORONS
CIVIL RIGHTS 101
LITTLE BROWN BOY
GENTLE BLACK MAN
OZARK MACHINE
SINISTER MINISTER
OUR FRIEND CHERYL
DEAR GOBOS AND GOGOS
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER
SOMETHING
ASSOCIATION
AIRBORNE
SATIRE
TOURIST INFORMATION CENTER
OZARK BOTANICAL GARDENS
PUBLIC HEALTH ALERT
IT'S A PRIVILEGE TO LIVE HERE!
THE RANSOM INN
OZARK RELOCATION SERVICE
900 FILES AWAY FROM HOME
CARTOONS BY JIM THOMAS
UNDER COLOR OF LAW
ORGANIZED CRIME
KICKBACKS
BUSINESS AS USUAL
MISSOURI TRAFFICK COURT
THE HATE STATE
YOUR FOOL NO MORE!
AMERICUS CORRUPTUS
OZARK RELOCATION SERVICE
Some people say the Ozarks are like quicksand -- easy to enter, but difficult to exit. That's where we come in.
We offer emergency evacuation, with helicopters, bullet-proof limousines, tanks, and SWAT teams. Our clients include minorities, civil rights activists, drug informants, and DEA agents. Last year, we rescued a sheriff who refused to look the other way.
We're proud to say we have a 95% success rate. Of course, there are some situations in the Ozarks that only God can help. In these cases, we offer a comprehensive package that includes prayer protection, life insurance, last rites, funeral services, and burial, complete with headstone, perpetual care, and Ozark wildflowers.
If you've recently moved to the Ozarks, you'll need to leave here sooner or later. So don't wait until the last minute. Call us today for a free rescue appraisal. Remember our motto, "Relocation, relocation, relocation!"
OZARK RELOCATION SERVICE
Some people say the Ozarks are like quicksand -- easy to enter, but difficult to exit. That's where we come in.
We offer emergency evacuation, with helicopters, bullet-proof limousines, tanks, and SWAT teams. Our clients include minorities, civil rights activists, drug informants, and DEA agents. Last year, we rescued a sheriff who refused to look the other way.
We're proud to say we have a 95% success rate. Of course, there are some situations in the Ozarks that only God can help. In these cases, we offer a comprehensive package that includes prayer protection, life insurance, last rites, funeral services, and burial, complete with headstone, perpetual care, and Ozark wildflowers.
If you've recently moved to the Ozarks, you'll need to leave here sooner or later. So don't wait until the last minute. Call us today for a free rescue appraisal. Remember our motto, "Relocation, relocation, relocation!"