FACTS
DEATH THREAT
CRONY ISLAND
GENUINE OZARK QUOTES
MISERY IN METH-OURI
OZARK HORROR STORIES
(OZARKUS HORRIBILIS)
MAP OF THE OZARKS
NEWS
LINKS
HOME
SEARCH ENGINE
CONTACT
JEFF AND MARY
AFFIDAVIT AND GOLIATH
GOLIATH CHART
DISCLAIMER
AUDIO CLIPS
DEATH THREAT
DEPUTY CURSING
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER
POETRY
GOOD OL' BOYS OF THE OZARKS
(GOBOS)
GET YOUR COUNTY
OUT OF MY COUNTRY!
OZARK OXYMORONS
CIVIL RIGHTS 101
LITTLE BROWN BOY
GENTLE BLACK MAN
OZARK MACHINE
SINISTER MINISTER
OUR FRIEND CHERYL
DEAR GOBOS AND GOGOS
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER
SOMETHING
ASSOCIATION
AIRBORNE
SATIRE
TOURIST INFORMATION CENTER
OZARK BOTANICAL GARDENS
PUBLIC HEALTH ALERT
IT'S A PRIVILEGE TO LIVE HERE!
THE RANSOM INN
OZARK RELOCATION SERVICE
900 FILES AWAY FROM HOME
CARTOONS BY JIM THOMAS
UNDER COLOR OF LAW
ORGANIZED CRIME
KICKBACKS
BUSINESS AS USUAL
MISSOURI TRAFFICK COURT
THE HATE STATE
YOUR FOOL NO MORE!
AMERICUS CORRUPTUS
TOURIST INFORMATION CENTER
Welcome to the Ozarks! We hope you enjoy the natural beauty of our lakes, forests, and mountains. Please remember that all outdoor activities require safety and caution. If this is your first visit here, we offer the following special precautions.
First, the roads are narrow and winding and often lack shoulders. Pay attention to all road signs, especially those that say "Speed Zone Ahead," "Very Crooked and Steep," and "Sharp Right Turn."
Second, Ozarkers are sensitive about certain topics, like the Civil War, religion, and the government. Don't upset them by displaying abolitionist literature, Jewish stars, or income-tax forms. If you are a person of color, be humble and deferential, and obey all Sundown Laws.
Third, some Ozarkers are descendants of the Whiskey Rebellion, but now make methamphetamine instead of moonshine. If you encounter thin, hyperactive, angry people, don't provoke them, because they may be related to the sheriff.
Fourth, if you are interested in racially pure real estate, stop by our friendly White, Wright & Feit Realty, which is next door to the Ozark Laundering Center, where whites are separated from coloreds, and money is made squeaky clean.
Finally, before you leave, apologize to people who have cheated and assaulted you, cancel all pending litigation, and be grateful you're still alive. See y'all next year!
TOURIST INFORMATION CENTER
Welcome to the Ozarks! We hope you enjoy the natural beauty of our lakes, forests, and mountains. Please remember that all outdoor activities require safety and caution. If this is your first visit here, we offer the following special precautions.
First, the roads are narrow and winding and often lack shoulders. Pay attention to all road signs, especially those that say "Speed Zone Ahead," "Very Crooked and Steep," and "Sharp Right Turn."
Second, Ozarkers are sensitive about certain topics, like the Civil War, religion, and the government. Don't upset them by displaying abolitionist literature, Jewish stars, or income-tax forms. If you are a person of color, be humble and deferential, and obey all Sundown Laws.
Third, some Ozarkers are descendants of the Whiskey Rebellion, but now make methamphetamine instead of moonshine. If you encounter thin, hyperactive, angry people, don't provoke them, because they may be related to the sheriff.
Fourth, if you are interested in racially pure real estate, stop by our friendly White, Wright & Feit Realty, which is next door to the Ozark Laundering Center, where whites are separated from coloreds, and money is made squeaky clean.
Finally, before you leave, apologize to people who have cheated and assaulted you, cancel all pending litigation, and be grateful you're still alive. See y'all next year!